What is life?

The past several days has been hell for me, I mean, I finally muster up enough courage to tell my friend I liked her, doing so Might and will permanently change our relationship, yet I have to, I need to move on to the next chapter. I can't hide behind the walls anymore. What she said previously had affect me in ways I didn't believe, she said I'll be alone forever and always, that's something really mean, I know I worked too much, I need to change, I have to at least take one day off and but can't rhymes with weekdays. Every single person I've been with, have the same opinion, I don't have time with them. 

Just as the scene of 'suits', one of the character who is an accountant have to start his life over, he came to the same conclusion that I've had, the amount of work I put into and the money I make is meaningless,  I barely know the guy living next door, my friends is my worker. He realize that and also emphasize it's meaningless, it's not what you do but it's who you spend the rest of your life with brings the meaning. The difference, he talk his first step and find his ways, I'm still having taken the initiative, standing still. What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing anymore.